Till We Meet Again

I need to preface this poem with an explanation of sorts. I never intended to publish this poem for the wounds caused by continuing separation and harsh judgements are deep and painful. I wanted it as a legacy for the time I leave this world so that my middle son would hopefully finally understand just how much I love him. I cannot leave this world without having one last go at opening his eyes to a very human mother who only wanted to love and protect him yet found nothing she did ever convinced him of that. Yet I find still the wounds are open and weeping so I am publishing this poem in the hopes that by this act I will be able to cleanse and heal it at last. With this in mind I dedicate this poem to my son Paul. May you never be judged as harshly as you have judged … may this poem one day convince you finally how much you were loved

A word to you my darling child
for I lose hope we’ll reconcile;
I’ve loved you deeply from the start
And mourned the day we grew apart.
I realise you needed this
To help you grow, to seek your bliss.
My heart was filled with deep regret
That you decided to forget
You had a mum who’d die for you,
A loving sister and brother too.
The wound’s replaced with deepest joy
To see you open up my boy
To siblings lost without your love;
For this I thank the One above.
Should you decide your life’s complete
Without me in it, I’ll feel replete.
The wish I’ve prayed for from the start
Has been granted by Her loving heart.
You’ll have each other to ease all pain
When I leave this earth. Till we meet again.
© Sandra Ann Beal
23rd January, 2012